Les yeux sont le miroir de l'dme

You like my French, oui? The title phrase, translated in English says, "The eyes are the mirror of the soul."

I've heard it said that you can tell a lot about a person by looking into their eyes. Maybe we often realize that. Maybe that's why we have trouble maintaining eye contact.

The reasons for this may be many. Self-confidence, shyness, fear or intimidation, just to name a few.

But there are times when eye contact really matters. Like when I want my wife to know that she is the most important thing in my life. Or when I want my boss or co-worker to know that I am really listening. Or, like during an interview.

I recently learned a technique that I would suggest using on co-workers and bosses. If you are uncomfortable with eye-to-eye contact (no staring please), try looking into the other person's left (on your right) eye. I found this approach to be much less intimidating.

Trying this on your spouse/significant other will not likely acheive the desired result, and might just completely freak them out.

See ya.

Nothing Personal

In the animal world, the African Rhino probably wins the prize for having the thickest skin. Its skin and cartilage shell make it resistant to personal injury. Too bad our skin isn't a little thicker.

How many times have I reacted wrongly to negative comments (perceived or otherwise) from my boss or other superior, only to later realize that they were right?

Here's a radical thought--generally speaking, such comments are not usually directed at you personally. Further, whether your boss was right or not, you have two immediate choices when this happens. Body language plays an important role at times like this. Be sensitive to your reaction. You can shake it off, or you can make things worse.

Your road to leadership, should you wish to persue it, will be shaped by how you handle negative feedback.

Nothing personal.

What If You Were Paid By The Question?

Huh? Paid by the question...what does that mean?

Imagine being dropped into a widget factory without any training. You have to produce widgets to earn a paycheck. How do you learn what to do? You ask questions.

There are "horizontal" questions, those you ask others making widgets. You learn what you need to survive, assuming that you ask the right people, they give you the right advice, and you correctly implement it. If all you want to do is earn a paycheck, stop now. But there is absolutely no guarantee that you will be able to "successfully" sustain this approach for very long. The widgets will change. The way they are made will change. The widget factory will need to make them better, faster, and cheaper than the competition if they are to survive. Don't believe me? Ask General Motors, Ford, and Dahmler-Chrysler. Maybe you'll be able to find a job at Toyota.

If all you want to do is survive, then stay with the horizontal questions.

If you want to grow, making yourself more valuable to the widget factory owner, try asking "vertical" questions. "Why does my company make widgets?" "Who is our competition?" "How do we compare to them?" "What does all that stuff on my company's financial statement mean?" "What do the other people in my company do?"

Asking questions runs counter to the typical shop, office, and factory culture. Don't be discouraged by the "discouraged." A solid understanding of how your company works greatly enlarges your potential territory. It opens up your field-of-view, giving you options you may not have been aware of before.

Make the most of each opportunity when you encounter someone from another area of the company, or even better, with a senior manager or executive. How? Write down and keep on your person the questions you might ask in such situations. "Played any golf lately?" may make conversation, but "How is the falling dollar affecting our margin?" may make him or her remember you.

If you were allowed to observe the workings of a senior management meeting at your company, you would probably find that the smart guys are the ones that know the right questions to ask, not the ones that seem to have all the answers.

Can you get paid by the question? Absolutely.